How to Negotiate ANYTHING Like a Pro – The REAL Art of Negotiation with Chris Voss
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Like it or not, we’re always negotiating in life. You’re either negotiating on where to eat with your loved ones or negotiating with potential clients to choose you as their real estate agent.
On today’s Tom Ferry Podcast Experience, my guest is Chris Voss, former FBI negotiator, CEO & founder of the Black Swan Group Ltd as well as author of “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As if Your Life Depended on It.”
Chris shares his experience as the lead international kidnapping negotiator and how it relates to negotiating in the real estate sector.
He provides insightful tips on how to present yourself as the expert agent, how to differentiate between fake and real opportunities, and when to walk away from a good deal with bad people.
I’m also excited to share what you can expect from his keynote for this year’s Success Summit, including how to negotiate with clients and easy-to-use negotiation tactics!
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HOLY CRAP THIS MAN IS A GENIUS! So, while I’m watching this I tried his tactics on a ghosted customer and had a response back from this within minutes. I’m so buying his book!
Its a great book and i use his tactics all the time
I don’t know if this is on purpose, (my first time watching this podcast), but seems like too much cutting off the guest and interjecting by the host.
Get the Book!! Off the chain!
In this episode we talk about…
1:54 – Who is Chris Voss?
3:13 – Chris shares his 24 years of experience as an FBI negotiator
4:40 – How much time do you have to hold someone’s attention and keep it? Chris opens up about how he negotiated a kidnapping case in Haiti.
10:00 – “All you need to do is know the market and show your knowledge.”
10:46 – Chris talks about how to convince buyers/sellers to choose you over your competitors
11:57 – Find out what’s the sustainable competitive advantage that will set you apart
12:53 – Chris answers your questions and shares how you can negotiate successfully
15:43 – Don’t be mean to people or they might give you decaf
17:16 – Chris shares how to negotiate with people to get on your team and collaborate to solve problems
18:43 – Learn why 20% of your opportunities are fake opportunities
20:06 – Chris tells you how you can avoid those 20% fake opportunities
23:33 – Avoid these sales techniques that turn off potential clients
25:00 – “Focus on how people tell you what they want”
25:41 – Chris spills the beans on how to negotiate successfully through email
30:14 – Know the secret to telling the truth without being confrontational through email
33:12 – “People don’t have time for people who waste their time.”
34:10 – Avoid making your clients wonder when they’ll hear from you by having a playbook of when to call them
37:10 – Discover the 2 reasons why your buyers or sellers have stopped responding to you
40:00 – Chris shares what to say when your clients have stopped responding
42:38 – Pros make their money by being empathetic with EVERYONE – even the clients you don’t like.
44:34 – There’s no irrational client, they just have predictable patterns and learn how to avoid confrontation
47:25 – Chris shares the phrase you need to use when being empathetic with clients and the words to steer clear of
50:52 – Chris provides insightful advice when to walk away from a negotiation with a client
53:10 – Know how to decipher what clients say they want, what they really want and what’s really possible
55:39 – Chris tells you the question you need to ask your clients before doing business with them
57:38 – It’s not about how many deals you’ve done, it’s about establishing yourself as an expert
58:56 – Get ready to deep dive about negotiation tactics at Chris’ Summit keynote
1:00:46 – Learn about the negotiation tactic that applies to being a successful real estate agent
1:02:44 – When you build rapport, you have to be intentional on your voice tone, pacing, and inflection
1:04:48 – Learn how to motivate a buyer to make an offer without giving up negotiation to your seller
1:09:23 – “No matter the circumstances, you’re always working through people to affect the decision makers or deal killers.”
1:14:01 – Chris explains why his son might be an even better negotiator than him.
1:17:50 – Text and subscribe to Chris Voss’ negotiation newsletters and practice his advice
it’s interesting to learn that life is full of negotiating from being a consultant to a mother or spouse at home. Trust is the best part of the negotiation, by giving your client frequent feedback.
Love this guy!!! Lol
I just wrote an email to a client ..”.have you given up working with me…” Havent heard back in about 5 attempts ( 1 to 2 months) before this…She goes” no we havent found what we want …keep them coming”.. took 2 minutes according to the email for her to respond!! WOW.
Thanks for the breakdown. You earned a new follower today! Love Chris’s Voss
@Jason Thieme So whataya… wanna do now??”
Absolutely love this episode, Tom! So much valuable information. Can’t wait for the Summit!!
Just finished reading this — incredible book! Working on implementing some of these and practicing improving my negotiation skills. Thanks Tom and Chris!
Great to see you speak in Lafayette, Tom – let me know next time you’re in town and let’s grab a coffee.
Absolute gold dust. I had to 2 clients that were ghosting me and Chris’s advice worked brilliantly. Just sent a text asking if they had given up working with me and received a positive response immediately. Love it!
This is amazing!! Ultimately the most informative and helpful video that I have watched in a while thank you very much!
Great stuff in here. Chris is a master negotiator with a great sense of humor. This qualities have to come together when you are on the field. Top class.
1 hour and 19 minutes of pure gold. Thank you Chris. Thank you Tom.
Amazing!! Read the book but this gave some really great insights and will be re-watching it (and re-reading the book). Will be recommending my sales team watch this tomorrow at team meeting
Tom, i understand you’re trying to make an informative and interesting video about an important topic for people to watch and enjoy. You seem really passionate about your work and you want to show people that you interview that you’re following them and distill the information for the audience. But i really want to hear what your interviewee has to say without interruptions. So how can we make that work?
@Tom Ferry… without your engagement and questioning Chris Voss’s style of conversation would put some to sleep. You balanced that equation, you keep both sides of the brain active for observers. Keep the great work going. Great wealth, wisdom, health and clarity be with you at all times. In fact around 48 minutes into the video I think Chris Voss began to really enjoy the conversation and became more free and loose.
For those who care, here you go, you are welcome:
14:45 – ideal times to contact customers in RE.
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17:35- beginning focal point of negotiation regarding the other party favoring you.
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20:06- How to find good long term partners that are not there for unethical usury.
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21:40- How to simply turn down a partner you have cross examined equitably.
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22:10-Two simple things you must ask YOURSELF when seeking business partner. RE or otherwise.
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24:00- ‘Yes’, is not final. Focus on HOW people tell you things, not WHAT: incite positive emotions in the other party, by asking, this allows them to share more information and build Trust.
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25:45: Less is more. One move at a time. Ancient commerce principle… KISS(Keep it short and simple, learn the art of shutting the fvck up)
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27:10: Emailing- Keep positive impression toward end. Initial positivity brings guard up in the mind.The brain remembers what it observes last.
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30:10- When you have bad news, ask then HOW it can be fixed, be solution oriented. Do not seek or give information, trigger thought toward solution and make comparison of solutions.
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33:00- Your process and everything ought to be geared toward progress.
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33:45- Don’t leave your clients in the dark. The unknown brings about fear. Alleviate this from your clients by giving them time frame of when they will hear from you. Even if you simply contact to tell them nothing happens, or if you call just to chat for 30 seconds to update them. They become more involved, more willing to bend to your need. This also builds trust and shows your ethical business dealings.
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38:10- Why people stops responding: 1. No progress, 2. they aren’t being listened to, 3. you are doing too much pitching. 4. They simply naturally are losing power and are embarrassed.
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39:20- Solution to people stop responding.
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39:45- Stop pitching, summarize situation from their perspective, by verbalizing their affirmed feelings. THEN stfu.
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40:55- People love to correct, let them do this, it makes them comfortable with you, and they show truthfulness and it teaches you where to take the negotiation to
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41:53- Empathy is all about the other side’s perspective, don’t limit it to who you only like. This is how you become pro and make money.
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43:00- When the other party is unsettled, show them you understand,Learn to verbatim… ask them.. ”what do you want to do now”… Empathy. If it does not work. learn to move on. It is commerce and business.
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44:14- What we consider rationality is just our own opinion and is subject to each parties conditioning of what rationality is, or is not. Don’t rely on your perception of what you think rationality is. Instead, look for PATTERNS based on what they care about. Everyone has predictable patterns.
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45:45- What is empathy in negotiation…. the other parties perception, and NOTHING TO DO WITH REALITY. Use the tool.
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47:15- What to do when you fvcked up a deal. Be forthcoming by way of the other parties perspective, without retaining liability.
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48:00- You dont have to have compassion to express it and utilize it.
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48:20- there is a fine line between manipulating and utilizing compassion.
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48:50- Know that your clients do not want to know you are sorry, because it is not solution oriented. Use ‘you’ less, it is a conversational jab. pronouns and personifications can be easily misunderstood….. basically language is a motherfvcker.
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51:25- Walk away from good deals with bad people. The people involved will screw it up for you sooner or later, no matter how good the deal may appear.
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52:20- Everyone is always holding something back because it will influence outcome. Always know that, and always seek to assit the other party get that out.
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53:25: Be in-differential. This allows the hidden to be revealed. Often the other party knows something they are not aware is actually important.
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54:00- Body language is useless where the other party is unaware of certain underlying substance in a conversation. So focus on YOUR OWN ability to LISTEN AND PROCESS information.
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55:30- Ask questions with a genuine tone of voice…. slowly… pause…. continue.
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56:50- it is not how many deals you have done, it is how good you are at it.
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57:24- People rely on experts first before sales people.
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1:00:10- Situation drives strategy… so hear them out.. LISTEN TO THEM!!! It calms them out very fast and built trust.
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1:01:25- Your clients also have learning curve, listening t them assist this learning curve to favor you.
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1:04:30- Scarcity drives decisions in everything. It will motivate your clients. BUT don’t use it carelessly, people will push back. N prudent.
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1:05:35- Empathy precedes assertion/assertiveness. Contrary to mundane view of confidence or being alpha….Tactical empathy makes you more assertive. Be wise, this is business.
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1:08:20- When you use fear of loss and scarcity, you must first understand what they need.
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1:09:00- Be uniform in intent with your counterparts. Use genuine curiosity to express your points, via tone of voice.
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1:11:30- make your move one at a time. Chess is a bad analogy for negotiation. Negotiations are web of attention based on decision making. The board is highly mutable. Don’t be naive in a negotiation.
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1:17:30- Paraphrase other sides perspective and reaction BEFORE revealing yours.. practice it, and you will see how much thier precocious mind likes your conscious actions.
Overall- Pay attention to personalized keywords used by the other party, and be true to your own self.
My personal opinion:
1. Learn how hypnosis works, and you’d be comfortable with ‘negotiation’. It is used against you everyday, you should know how to negate it’s negative effects (There are those who use it positively -very few-, it’s a double edge sword) and utilize it ethically.
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2. Leann to slow down and think as you speak, you don’t have to rush things to come across as competent. Speaking fast doesn’t make you smart.. I mean listen to Chriss Voss… look at the dude… he looks high the whole time and speaks as though he is high…. ssllllooowwww ddooooowwwwnnnn.
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3. Breath, pay close attention to successful people when they speak.. they breath in……. ALOT before speaking.. Your breath is pure life force you pull information …literally from the air… Use it.. It is well known in the ancient world and currently… It is an in built tool you have easy access to. Use.
This was absolutely priceless. Such valuable information. Thank you so much! This is a MUST listen podcast.
You know Chris Voss is a really interesting person when in every interview he has there’s people complaining about not letting him talk enough.
Great information. Now the hard work starts implementing what Chris teaches.
Chris can never do an interview without getting terribly interrupted
Excellent Podcast. Great questions and solutions to real world situations. Chris’ book is excellent. Read it a few times
My Father is retired FBI — I loved this segment, and found it helpful and fascinating! Thank you!
12 minutes in and I feel like this really could be life changing stuff. I’m getting the book after the podcast
Tom that was an excellent show! You are a master host. Thank you so much for such a captivating episode!
Being human is where it is at and it was right here thanks to Chriss. So glad that I made this a priority.
Thank you!